lunes, agosto 31, 2009

Addendum - How as an atheist I cope with tragedy.

Raquel Plascencia Fonseca: January 7th, 1946 - June 30th, 2009

My mom finally got to rest last Wensday, June 30. She had a respiratory arrest around 7:00PM after being in a coma for nearly 3 months.

In my previous post I talked about my experience during her convalescence. We are all sad about her passing on. I am sad, I miss her a lot, but I am OK. One advantage of been a skeptic is that I based my opinions in evidence. That being said, I am glad that my mom died... Shocked?, don't be. I am glad she died because the other option was a severe neurological damage with no good prognosis of recovery. So, my mom would not have been there anymore. I saw the MRI's; not good. I knew she wasn't going to come out of it. She was withering more and more with every passing day. That was not an acceptable living condition for her. This was the best outcome for everyone, specially her.

So, in that sense, I had almost 3 months to say to her (at least, to her body, because I think that she didn't listen to me anymore) everything I needed to say, and also to prepared myself to the idea that she was gone from that day on. So, when I got the call that she has passed on, although I was sad and surprised, I was OK.

I have cried a lot, I still do, don't get me wrong, but I am OK. My father is also surprised that he is more or less OK. Sometimes he calls me crying, but it is just for a moment, but for the most part he says that the time he misses her the most is at home, but that when he is out doing his errands, he feels more or less fine. I tell him that this is because we understood what was happening at all times. That we didn't clinge to false expectations and that we know that miracles don't happen, that the odds of her recovering were very slim, and even if she did recover, she was going to be severely impaired. I chosed reality, everyday. When you accept things as they really are, it is easier to deal with the world.

I missed her a lot, but to die is part of the natural world. I know she would die, I know I will die, but you know what? As Issac Asimov said, I am not afraid of dying, just of the transition. There are many things I still like to do while alive, so I am in no hurry to die. You don't know really when are you going to die, so don't worry to much about it. Live your life, and let and help others live theirs.

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